Evolution of the Moustache

It seems that the humble lip-caterpiller has been with us for quite a while. Although the Neanderthal (the one on the left) was wiped out tens of thousands of years ago by modern man, it can be assumed that the conquering tribes were also moustachioed, as powerful dictators today still bear hairy upper lips (see Powerful Mo's for examples).

Darwin's theory of Natural Selection has led to the refined "Tassie Tickler" theory
This theory, which derives its name from a specific kind of sexual pleasure received by a female partner of a moustache wearer, is supported by the following evidence:
  • The majority of male porn stars have moustaches.
  • According to a recent Gillette-backed Roy Morgan survey (source: The Australian Magazine June 10-11, 2000, pg 14):
    "79 percent of women prefer men to be clean shaven and 2.1 per cent prefer beards."

    This, of course, means that the remaining18.9 per cent of women prefer men with moustaches. And, since only 15 per cent of women are dateable anyway, it seems we have the upper hand, fellow Tassie Ticklers!!

    Movember Committee